Ever wonder why none of your relationships EVER workout? Seems like time after time, you continue to give your heart, to give your all, yet everything STILL falls apart. Why the heck is that?! Well, if you battle with constant failing relationships it can only mean one thing: Your heart is not in the right place.
Here is the structure of many of these consistent failing relationships. We call ourselves " Doing me"or "Working on me" until someone that takes interest in us comes along. Even though we know we're not ready on a personal level, we engage in this relationship wishing for the best and hoping that this will be our happily ever after. We start falling hard for this person, and the relationship becomes the center of our worlds. We are extremely happy in the relationship, and can't imagine life without this person. That's all good, but what we fail to realize is sometimes the more we fall, the more our hearts shift in the wrong direction. Your life is centered around this person..getting to know everything about this person..pleasing this person..making this person happy.. spending time with this person... The relationship means the world to us, and we sacrifice and dedicate every bone in our being to ensure that it works! This is where our heart is, with this relationship,and it becomes our only focus neglecting other things that are essential to our being. Hello?? Have you forgotten that you still have internal issues to deal with before bringing someone else into the picture? Have you neglected your relationship with God? Have you totally released your happiness, success, and overall being to the status of this relationship?? #FAIL! Just a few notes; if God is not the center of the relationship, it will NEVER Work. Yeah, you all might stay together for a long time, you might even have a few kids linking you forever..You may even marry and become quite comfortable with your situation..but you will definitely sacrifice some happiness. You will find yourself settling..stuck..and you will never reach the point of COMPLETE happiness and fulfillment in that relationship. Please consider these things before jumping into another failed relationship and wasting more time and emotion!
1. If God is NOT the foundation of your relationship, it will NOT work!
Revisiting the fact that in these relationships we spend time getting to know everything about this person..pleasing this person..making this person happy.. spending time with this person... BUT we completely neglect God! What about your relationship with God? What about spending time with HIM? Getting to know HIM? We spend so much time trying to please our mates that we fall into SIN and compromise the things of GOD. We break God's heart just to make their hearts and their bodies feel GOOD. We find ourselves indulging in pre-marital sex... We find ourselves giving into our tempers and allowing matters to become out of control. We find ourselves making irrational decisions for ourselves because we are overtaken by emotions.. then we find ourselves RIGHT BACK WHERE WE STARTED, at the top of the roller coaster putting band-aids on areas that need surgery! It's simple.. Why would God bless a relationship that does not honor Him?
2. Get you together.... FIRST!
Never engage in a relationship before you are ready. Be real with yourself! YOU know you. You know how mentally and emotional unstable you are. You know that you are not established. You're consistently trying to "find yourself" but you keep getting side tracked. Slow Down. CHILL. Love you some YOU! Find who you are and then love who you are. Embrace your solitude and spending time alone. If you feel like someone always HAS to be around or like you just HAVE to have a companion, that is a major problem. Yes, it may be what you're used to. It may be what you prefer..but that does not mean that's what's best.
3. Stop comparing your life and relationships with others.
Just because everyone else around you is in a relationship doesn't mean you have to be. Just because this generation has become so laxed with the things of the world doesn't mean you still can't stand firm on the things of God. Understand that each of us have a different walk, a different path, and a different relationship.
4. Learn how to say NO!
You don't have to engage in a relationship with every one who shows an interest. You don't have to give it up to everyone who is attractive or requires sex for you to be in a relationship with them. You don't have to stay in that mentally and emotionally unhealthy relationship because the person you're dating pleads, begs, and promises for things to get better. It's okay to say NO.
5. Surround yourself with people who will tell you what you DON'T want to hear!
These are friends. Those who will encourage what's right and what's healthy. Those will will stick by you even when they know you aren't making the right decision just for moral support. You value their opinion, and you know that they are only going to tell you the truth and not just want you want to hear. They know when to speak and how to say it. You may not like it all the time, but you should respect it. Do not distance yourself from these people as they truly have your best interest. Even though it appears to be more comfortable to surround yourself by individuals in the same situation or individuals who agree with your every move, it is definitely not in your best interest.
Don't allow yourself to continue going in circles on the same roller coaster. Demand change. Demand better. Demand results...staring with YOU.
*If you are at a point where you would really like to evaluate yourself, but you just don't know where to start, check out this blog:
http://aleshiasworld.blogspot.com/b/post-preview?token=G2dSMDgBAAA.MnMn3_GN2-1_xsNUcv9yAg.yZP_Ftl15CsTGxFMvsuXfg&postId=9024639397898525567&type=POST
~Aleshia
Here is the structure of many of these consistent failing relationships. We call ourselves " Doing me"or "Working on me" until someone that takes interest in us comes along. Even though we know we're not ready on a personal level, we engage in this relationship wishing for the best and hoping that this will be our happily ever after. We start falling hard for this person, and the relationship becomes the center of our worlds. We are extremely happy in the relationship, and can't imagine life without this person. That's all good, but what we fail to realize is sometimes the more we fall, the more our hearts shift in the wrong direction. Your life is centered around this person..getting to know everything about this person..pleasing this person..making this person happy.. spending time with this person... The relationship means the world to us, and we sacrifice and dedicate every bone in our being to ensure that it works! This is where our heart is, with this relationship,and it becomes our only focus neglecting other things that are essential to our being. Hello?? Have you forgotten that you still have internal issues to deal with before bringing someone else into the picture? Have you neglected your relationship with God? Have you totally released your happiness, success, and overall being to the status of this relationship?? #FAIL! Just a few notes; if God is not the center of the relationship, it will NEVER Work. Yeah, you all might stay together for a long time, you might even have a few kids linking you forever..You may even marry and become quite comfortable with your situation..but you will definitely sacrifice some happiness. You will find yourself settling..stuck..and you will never reach the point of COMPLETE happiness and fulfillment in that relationship. Please consider these things before jumping into another failed relationship and wasting more time and emotion!
1. If God is NOT the foundation of your relationship, it will NOT work!
Revisiting the fact that in these relationships we spend time getting to know everything about this person..pleasing this person..making this person happy.. spending time with this person... BUT we completely neglect God! What about your relationship with God? What about spending time with HIM? Getting to know HIM? We spend so much time trying to please our mates that we fall into SIN and compromise the things of GOD. We break God's heart just to make their hearts and their bodies feel GOOD. We find ourselves indulging in pre-marital sex... We find ourselves giving into our tempers and allowing matters to become out of control. We find ourselves making irrational decisions for ourselves because we are overtaken by emotions.. then we find ourselves RIGHT BACK WHERE WE STARTED, at the top of the roller coaster putting band-aids on areas that need surgery! It's simple.. Why would God bless a relationship that does not honor Him?
2. Get you together.... FIRST!
Never engage in a relationship before you are ready. Be real with yourself! YOU know you. You know how mentally and emotional unstable you are. You know that you are not established. You're consistently trying to "find yourself" but you keep getting side tracked. Slow Down. CHILL. Love you some YOU! Find who you are and then love who you are. Embrace your solitude and spending time alone. If you feel like someone always HAS to be around or like you just HAVE to have a companion, that is a major problem. Yes, it may be what you're used to. It may be what you prefer..but that does not mean that's what's best.
3. Stop comparing your life and relationships with others.
Just because everyone else around you is in a relationship doesn't mean you have to be. Just because this generation has become so laxed with the things of the world doesn't mean you still can't stand firm on the things of God. Understand that each of us have a different walk, a different path, and a different relationship.
4. Learn how to say NO!
You don't have to engage in a relationship with every one who shows an interest. You don't have to give it up to everyone who is attractive or requires sex for you to be in a relationship with them. You don't have to stay in that mentally and emotionally unhealthy relationship because the person you're dating pleads, begs, and promises for things to get better. It's okay to say NO.
5. Surround yourself with people who will tell you what you DON'T want to hear!
These are friends. Those who will encourage what's right and what's healthy. Those will will stick by you even when they know you aren't making the right decision just for moral support. You value their opinion, and you know that they are only going to tell you the truth and not just want you want to hear. They know when to speak and how to say it. You may not like it all the time, but you should respect it. Do not distance yourself from these people as they truly have your best interest. Even though it appears to be more comfortable to surround yourself by individuals in the same situation or individuals who agree with your every move, it is definitely not in your best interest.
Don't allow yourself to continue going in circles on the same roller coaster. Demand change. Demand better. Demand results...staring with YOU.
*If you are at a point where you would really like to evaluate yourself, but you just don't know where to start, check out this blog:
http://aleshiasworld.blogspot.com/b/post-preview?token=G2dSMDgBAAA.MnMn3_GN2-1_xsNUcv9yAg.yZP_Ftl15CsTGxFMvsuXfg&postId=9024639397898525567&type=POST
~Aleshia
