But I am always evaluating myself..setting goals for myself.. finding ways to improve.. What do you mean by self evaluation?
It's like cleaning your house. Every week you do a series of chores: washing dishes, washing clothes, wiping down counter tops, cleaning restrooms, etc. But you have those days throughout the year that you CLEAN your house.. You strip everything: take all the clothes out of the closet to see what you're going to keep/give away, move all the furniture to shampoo, dust reorganize, etc.. Clean out the garage, pull the weeds in the front yard.. etc. Yeah, THAT kind of cleaning. The kind that takes a few days opposed to a few hours. That's the kind of self evaluation I'm talking about: A point of re-evaluating, re-structuring, and re-focusing.
BEFORE YOU CAN KNOW WHERE YOU ARE GOING, YOU MUST FIRST KNOW WHERE YOU ARE.
Time to make those lists! Many of us find ourselves either absolutely ANNOYED by creating list or absolutely in love! My relationship with lists are bitter-sweet, BUT I will say that when it comes to keeping track of long term goals, these lists have shown to be quite necessary. Purchase one of those composition books so that you have something to always reference at all times, jot down notes, etc. Here are a few lists to get you started:
- The Bucket List- Time to have fun! This is the list on ANY and EVERY single thing that you want to accomplish before your departure on this earth. This ranges from traveling, to adventure, to volunteering/community service. The only thing to remember is that this list has NO limits. At any time this list can be expanded, but you must also ensure that you are checking things off of your list. Don't let this list sit. Just to name a few of the things that are on my personal bucket list: I would like to take a trip to Jerusalem and walk where Jesus walked. Explore where Jesus reigned. I would like to take my family ranging from my parents, cousins, aunts, etc on MASS vacation for about two weeks, as often as possible, to where they worry about nothing but having the time of their life! I would like to climb the Great Wall of China. I would like to financially adopt at least 3 children in a poverty stricken country and receive weekly updates from them throughout the duration of their lives.. My list is complex..and endless.. so I will stop here!! Your turn :)
2. The Mirror List-This list can be two columns: where you are on one side, and where you'd like to go. My mirror list is divided by periods of years. For example, in two years, I'd like to see myself here..or in five years, I'd like to see myself there...BUT NOT FINANCIALLY.. only mentally, spiritually, and emotionally. Take this time to truly analyze where you are. BE REAL WITH YOURSELF. Embrace the fact that you have flaws and areas that may need work. Analyze the roots of your damage. Consider some aspects that those close to you may hinted where improvement is needed. Really take this time to dig into the depths of inner you. This process may hurt...may be emotional.. It may even allow you to see some things that absolutely disgust you. That's okay. Let it happen, and take comfort in the fact that you feel the way you feel because you are ready for change. This list is not one of those "write in one hour" lists, as you are always evaluating yourself, and sometimes we miss so many things about ourselves because we do not SLOW DOWN. Don't rush this process. Seclude yourself. Concencrate yourself. Remove some things from your life..Silence all distractions and do whatever it is that you need to do to recognize areas where improvement is needed. Write these things down of the first column "Where I Am". Now, on the next column, "Where I'm Going", write down the areas that you would like to see yourself improve over a period of time. UNDERSTAND, change does not happen overnight, but it starts with an open and WILLING heart.
3. The Pocket List-This list serves as your financial goals, and it has THREE parts/columns. Again, you must first start by analyzing where you are, this time financially. Take a sum of all of your bills ranging from mortgage/rent, utilities, gas, car insurance, credit cards, student loans, etc. Anything and everything that you pay on a consistent basis should be considered. After you get this number, subtract this number from the income you generate every month. Now, add all of your savings, stocks/money shares, 401ks, etc. What do you have left? Is it scary?!! lol. It may very well be, but that's okay, because that's about to change hence the reason you're even creating this list. That was the first part of your list, the "where I am". Easy right? Okay, here comes part two: where would you like to see yourself financially? Many will say DEBT FREE.. or RICH!! lol. NOT GOOD ENOUGH!! This is a very detailed list. For example, if you desire to be debt free, be specific abut your debts that you would like to have paid off and WHEN you would like to have them paid off. Now the challenging part, the third column "How are you going to get there?" This is the most challenging part, because it's sooo much more to this list than just working overtime making a few extra bucks. This list also requires a deep evaluation and mot importantly SACRIFICE. First things first, are you where you need to be in order to generate a comfortable income i.e your career verses a job? If not, that should be one of the first things on this part of the list. Look for a career in your field, return to school, start your own business, get an internship etc. However you need to gradually achieve getting out of the "living check to check" curse, list that. Now the sacrifice part.. yay!!! This is the part where you list those things that you need to give up in order to pocket more money. Some examples include FAST FOOD..shopping when you KNOW you don't have it..cutting out the EXTRA bills, like cable bills that includes DVR, the extra sports/movie channels, and all of the other 600 channels that you not watch/or need. This is what I mean about how you are going to get there or in other words, WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE?
4. The Companion List-To answer your question, this list is to list that things that you would like to see in your companion if you are married/dating..BUT this list is also things that you would like to see in yourself as someone else's companion and/or areas that you would like to improve in as someone else's companion! Another one of those two column lists :) Stick by this list. UNDERSTAND, that people change, we change, things change. Also, understand that somethings are "negotiable". It's okay to be particular, but don't be TOO picky. What I mean by that , for example, is that it's okay to say that I would like to have a companion who is successful and financially stable..But to say that you would like to have a companion who is the CEO of Apple and owns at least 69 shares of stock is a bit STEEP don't you think? lol. It's okay to want someone who is serious about their physical appearance and upkeep.. but to require someone to weight exactly 130 pounds and to only wear name brand clothing purchased in Beverly Hills, CA is a bit..Insane lol. Point is.. Be particular. Be very particular. Don't be ridiculous though. Also, don't expect anything from anyone that you aren't willing to do and/or change.
This is a start! SELF-EVALUATION!!! There are probably tons of lists to add to this. If you have any to add, please share, as we are all in this together to inspire, to encourage, and to LOVE :) Thanks for reading.
~Aleshia
